7 Ways To Convince Your Partner Try Cofounder Coaching

Here’s how to stop avoiding difficult conversations with your cofounder and start improving communication, teamwork, and resilience.

Cofounder coaching is a speciality service focused on improving cofounder conflict navigation. 

These coaching sessions improve communication, teamwork, and decision-making for startup cofounders as their relationship evolves alongside their business. And while many founders are open to the idea of meeting with a qualified coach or therapist to mediate important personal and business-related conversations, sometimes their partners are not as open-minded. 

It is not uncommon for one cofounder to reach out for assistance, gather information, and then raise the idea of cofounder coaching with their partner. However, many individuals feel concerned about how their desire to improve the partnership will be perceived:

• Will they think I’m giving them an ultimatum?

• What will I do if they are not open to the idea?

• They don’t believe in therapy—I doubt they’ll try this

• I worry this conversation will cause more harm than good

While these concerns are valid and worth processing, avoiding talking to your partner about cofounder coaching leads to worse outcomes like walking on eggshells, resentment, and ultimately cofounder fallout. 

Delaying this discussion worsens existing issues and makes it more difficult to turn things around when you become courageous enough to confront the challenge.

Here are 7 things to keep in mind when talking to your cofounder about the possibility of cofounder coaching:

1. Be honest about why you want to start cofounder coaching. 

This is an important opportunity to raise discussions you have been avoiding due to fear about how your partner would respond or how they responded in the past.

Stop beating around the bush—honesty starts now.

2. Think of this conversation as opening a doorway to transparency rather than an argument you need to win. 

The goal is not to convince them to start cofounder coaching, it’s to take the first step in opening up to one another and building mutual understanding of how you are communicating.

3. Do not place too much pressure on one discussion. 

Plan to have several small conversations about the topic instead of one transformative intervention. 

Challenge yourself to contemplate how your anxiety and story-telling may be building this into something more difficult than it may be—give your partner a chance to surprise you and take breaks to de-escalate if needed.

4. Remember what you can control and what you cannot. 

You can control your tone, words, and framing of the issues. You can also monitor how you respond. But you cannot control how your partner reacts. 

Their emotional response is not yours to manage — the most important component of this conversation is speaking your truth.

5. Emphasize the free, no risk consultation. 

Most cofounder coaches offer consultations prior to starting an engagement.

While I can’t speak for others, I offer a free 30-minute initial meeting with no risk other than the time commitment. And I promise you’ve had much worse conversations with lower potential upside than talking to me. 

I don’t pressure prospective clients to agree to work with me after one half-hour meeting. Though that is most often the case, if I don’t feel comfortable or if you want more information, I’m happy to make myself available for as many free conversations as it takes for us to determine we are a good fit for one another.

6. Talk to them about next steps of the onboarding process.

Please tell your partner(s) I want to meet with them prior to starting. In fact, I require talking to everyone to ensure fit prior to signing an agreement to work together. 

Other coaches may have different policies, so I recommend reaching out to them and asking about their onboarding process.

7. Share the coach’s information and website. 

Depending on their preferences, letting them know I’m a licensed psychologist may be helpful or emphasizing my specialization in working with founders, cofounders, and entrepreneurs may alleviate fears that come from bad past experiences. 

Showing them my website, testimonials, and written materials might help them see that I am an expert in the exact area both of you may benefit from improving — cofounder conflict navigation.

Similarly, if you choose to meet with a different cofounder therapist, share their information during or after the discussion. Helping your partner see something concrete can be helpful in dispelling myths and lowering anxiety.

…

Most cofounders experience hardship that erodes trust.

Like any other partnership, building and maintaining an effective, collaborative style of interacting requires time, energy, and effort. Unfortunately for founders, these are the same scarce resources mined for operating a startup, which means your cofounder partnership is de-prioritized and strained.

Not engaging in cofounder coaching — or at the very minimum, not considering it as an option for growth and maintenance — poses a long-term threat to the sustainability of your partnership. 

Avoiding difficult conversations about power dynamics, personality difficulties, and values leads to resentment, which erodes the foundation of trust required for optimal organizational agility.

Rip off the Band-Aid. Talk to your cofounder about pursuing cofounder coaching—it is the first step in improving your most important business relationship.